I don’t want to be overpowered by emotions.
I’ve heard the words before. I know the exacting meaning they convey. There seems to be a liberal dash of restrain, some amount of pain and a delicate sprinkling of logic to them. Imagine loving such a bloke. It provides the person a perfect get-away. A clean-chit. You can’t blame. You can’t complain. Period.
In hindsight it is perhaps not a bad idea not to be overwhelmed by emotions. Unnecessarily you loose sleep. You begin to dream. You start caring. You tend to be protective. Quick reveries occur to you. Suddenly you feel tasked. You begin to like daffy things you disliked most of your life. That is what darned emotions can do to you.
Dale Carnegie was one of the biggest thinking heads of his times. The American once said to a massive audience: When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion. Somewhere Carnegie attempts – and probably manages to – put his finger on the exact mash. That is because each stealing glance, every act of laughter, whenever the heart races fast, when we clap, as we shout, as we canoodle -- we unknowingly nip an innocent slice of that sacred sentiment, called emotion. Logic comes in much much later.
Then there is a soft globule in us. We call it heart. The heart is forever inexperienced. We may attempt to grow. Grow up. Grow rich. Grow wise. Grow smart but the heart always remains inexperienced. Unpolished. Curious. How many times our mind says no to something but the heart gets tempted? You may have a mind of your own but the heart…. it understands no logic.
In reality life is hard. Tough. Mean. Skewed. I reckon, the unreal is often more powerful than the real, because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, well, they too die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. Nothing can take away -- for instance -- certain forbidden memories from me! Like prespiring badly on a hot day, moiling, just to be besides someone.
You can't barter certain things for all the gold in the world. I won't be selfish because one's emotions aren't programmed that way. All the Virtuoso, Encounter, Incisive, Allegro tasks don't teach this simple paradigm.
I don't really know when emotions took the better of me. I am not the least apologetic. Yet some people do reason the very premise of emotion. Marquis de Vauvenargues, the 17th century great French philosopher and moralist says: Emotions teach the mankind to reason. They perfume our lives.
End of it all, I can’t have a say in someone’s life. The decision to stay away. To hold back emotions. Never let them out. Never fathom other's sentiments. May be I never truly understood what love is. May be I never will! Poor me. All I know is that your heart is my piñata.
I am sure vocabs aren't always that good. You’ll have to look up for Piñata!