Cold vapor breath on air revealed
I'm Missing You
Have you ever felt like me? Strange and revelled in someone’s craving thought. In my mastery of the most exquisite eyes I have ever come across on the terrestrial ball -- called earth. Or someone's mastery over me. Or is it some kind of phantasmagoric magic? Misty. Mostest. Mine!
I'll be 26 in four months. Already swollen with life. I feel raw as exposed flesh. What generation must we be, unable to rein in our longings? The MTV gen, as academics prefer to designate those born between 1975-1985. I don't know what on earth has possessed me. I lie and wait for someone to amble across in my life. Slither the flocculent finger slowly upon my brow. My heart pounds in my ears. God, I miss the lone conqueror of five evils. I really do!
The mink feeling tugs at me in the strangest of places – for example in the middle of an interesting conversation or while I am driving – in level 5 – at 90 miles/hour. It shakes me to my innards. Makes me feel like a naughty child who greeds for his share of pie. Something vibrates in me with a living pulse. What that – something is – I can’t tell. Yet it oscillates. Like my dad’s traditional German wall clock that has been cheeping every hour ever since I’ve grown up.
Last night as I drove back home, globs of new rain streamed on my windscreen. In the middle of a cruel summer. Slanting silver ropes slammed into loose earth, ploughing it up like gunfire. A dark sky suggested some storm was building up nearby. In my heart a tempest raged. My hand released the steering and moved to the ubiquitous cell phone. Searching for the button. Clicking it and then letting it go!
I can’t be weak. I can’t seem to allow myself being too schmaltzy. Yet I miss. The rain continued to fall. I could go straight or I could take the next turn home. My heart beat at million thuds a minute. The pulse quickened. The grass outside the tinted glasses of my car looked wet-green and pleased. Trees bent.
I drove home. I am strong. I can go slow. Yet I miss like hell.